As you know, it was Easter. This kid (poorly photographed above) was highly aware of that fact and was getting into the spirit of things with her bunny ears, going for a ride in the back of the cab in front of me. She was fun to drive behind as she seemed to be having a great ride.
Overall, though, my shift tonight was actually pretty boring. Which is a relief. Most of my passengers were in a happy, laid back mood and, most importantly, were tipping nicely. I got stuck in a weird JFK/LaGuardia vortex early on, during which I dropped some tourists off at Kennedy, saw that the taxi lot was filled to capacity and decided to race up to LaGuardia to see if I would fare better there.
I did, in a way. I got to the front of the line at US Air after only 10 minutes, but when my passenger got in he said, "Kennedy airport." This is called a "shorty." Anywhere in Queens from LaGuardia is considered a short-haul ride, and the taxi dispatcher will you a shorty ticket which allows you to return to the airport (within 90 minutes) and cut to the front of the line.
I got him to Kennedy in record time, thanks to light traffic. I dropped off again, passed by the overflowing lot once more, and once more decided to go back to LaGuardia. I used my shorty ticket, which brought me to the front of the line at Delta and I got some passengers right away. Luckily, they were going back to the city.
The night went smoothly after that, and I was busy for a while. People on the streets were at the same level of retardedness, but the aggression level was much lower than usual. The only real asshole I encountered was some guy who was strolling across the street against the light with his family. As I was bearing down on them, I tapped my horn so they would hurry it up and get out of the way before I, or any of the other cars on the avenue, ran into them.
The women of the group quickened their step but the man slowed down. I guess that meant he was tough or something. He really showed me.
But this kind of thing really annoys me because it's almost as if he expected me to not only see him there, crossing when he shouldn't be, but he also seemed to trust that I'd be able to stop in time to avoid hitting him. Having been hit by a car once as a pedestrian, I know first-hand just how easy it is to get knocked down and royally hurt by a moving vehicle. It's not fun. And when guys do stupid macho shit like this, they're not only fucking with their own lives, their fucking with mine.
So when I saw this guy slow his pace to show what a big tough guy he was, I made sure to lean on the horn to express my disapproval. He, of course, gave me the finger. My passenger at the time read my mind and said, "I hate guys like that." I said, "Yeah, he wouldn't be so tough and brave if he got hit." She replied, "You're so right. I'm a nurse at New York Hospital and it's exactly that type of guy who comes in every day all full of bravado. But it all disappears the second you have to give them an injection. Then they're not so tough."
I understand getting angry at a driver because you got scared, even if you were the one in the wrong, but the above type of behavior is different. It's got nothing to do with fear and everything to do with ego. It's dangerous, completely unecessary, and utterly stupid. This guy wanted to prove something, and boy did he -- he proved that he is a total idiot.
94 comments:
They're the same the world over arn't they?
It's amazing how your stories from New York are almost the same as we get here in Australia.
It's amazing how some guys think they are something special.
Here's a cute story! My brother-in-law and I were driving to work one day when two girls, probably 8 and 6 years old, decided the best thing to do while crossing the street was to walk really slow so that all the traffic had to come to a complete stop -- they were facing a car (their backs to my brother-in-law) waiving their arms making sure everybody noticed them. Here comes the cute part --a couple of weeks prior to this incident I gave my brother an air horn for his truck (sounded just like a semi horn -- really, really loud). The little girls never noticed our truck behind them because they were concentrating on the car they had stopped -- so my brother-in-law got as close to the girls as he could and hit the air horn! I kid you not, they jumped straight up about four feet, it was like watching a cartoon they just kinda hung in the air with the little legs making a running motion! We couldn't stop laughing, and the driver of the other car was laughing.
I read about your blog in the Globe and Mail- greetings to new york from a bored Canadian- great stories! Yeah, some guys are such idiots. Whatever, some day he'll get himself run over. In the meantime I'll keep checking your fantastic blog- and when that book comes out, I'll definately buy it. Make sure you ship some to the west coast! Looking forward to more, from Fiona
I can't stand it! I gotta tell you another story! While driving to my sister's house (she married to the guy with the truck with the air horn) a little boy about four years old ran from his front yard and into the middle of the street in front of my car and started doing his little "I dare you to hit me, shakin' his bootie dance" which I had to admit was kinda cute because he was so little. A car coming from the other direction saw the kid dancing in the middle of the street and just stopped and was watching. After a few minutes an older woman got out of the car (I later found out it was his grandmother), grabbed the little guy and started smacking his butt and reading him the riot act. It was worth the inconvenience!
what happened to your Google ads? I just noticed they were gone..
Wow, I've never seen such an angry person.....
The guy's crossing the street with his family...albeit against the light,but you come down on him like he assalted you...
RELAX hack.....
Avid reader from CT. At school I cant get my dose of NYC. But this blog really reminds me of my weekly trips to the City.
I think it is a guy thing, and specifically a younger guy thing. Here in Jacksonville there are ALWAYS some younger (like teens to 20s) guys who cross the major roads walking as slow as they can. It's like, they are either egging you on to hit them, or trying to show how completely "tough" they are by not being scared of an oncoming truck driving 55 mph.
Of course, when you drive by them and they're barely out of the road they turn around and shout at you, like you're the one who's being an a-hole...
jerks.
you should have revved the engine in neutral and scared the shit out of him...
indeed
Off topic...Is there any chance you can change your front screen to be black text on white background? I know visually the page looker cooler black, but when you read white text on black for more than 30 seconds, you get that weird shimmering. It starts to get unpleasant after a while. Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.
We have a phrase for behavior like that: "reckless idiocy"
Next time you meet this guy, or one like him, hold up your fist, then raise your little finger and wiggle it.
Its the universal signal for "mate, you have a small dick"...
Thats the only reason he was behaving like that... he had to prove to himself that he was powerful.
Still great reading.
asy :D
Just heard about your book deal and decided to check out your blog. Congratulations! Sounds like we have a bit in common ... I left my life as a reporter to move to 32 acres in the country and homestead. I started blogging about my life out here a few months ago, so my suburban friends could keep up with what I'm doing. It involves a fair amount of birth, death, and old-fashioned hard work. Your job just sounds like a major bitch. I'm not sure you're much better off than you were in corporate America. While I do have my share of obnoxious animals (a ram who has busted up every fence on the place), I also have the joys that come with seeing baby goats born and wonderful stuff like that!
This is my great theory on the balance in the universe. As a general rule, Men are stupid, while Women are evil. Just in general. I enjoy reading your blog, thanks.
What's really sad is that he's setting a poor example for the children that were with him. How stupid of him.
What really annoys me about people moving against the light - be they in cars or as pedestrians - is that it reduces the time you have to get through your light and just passes along the inconvience.
I once had a turn on a very short arrow and was held up by two men who were crossing against the no-walk sign. I tooted my horn at them and one of them quickened his pace but the other only responded by flipping me off. It seemed especially unseamly because I'm a women. Guess which of these guys I would want to date!
Yea, he can take on a moving car!
Here in Memphis, it is usually black people who slow down when they cross in front of white people. I don't know what they are trying to prove.
Dude:
First - you're consistently funny.
Second - you can spell. Kudos to you. That right there impresses me and keeps me coming back. You're well spoken. You really don't have to cuss like you do. God bless you. You do a thankless job.
ugh. i seriously can't believe how patient you are with such idiots. I get frustrated with NYC just walking on the sidewalk. Thank you so much for writing and good luck with your book!
You're such a good writer, humorous and poignant. Congrats on the book deal and I always look forward to a post.
You should have hit the fucker. I hear it's legal to run over douchebags nowadays.
Isn't a amazing when you have two humans in the same circumstance, [ the man, the woman] and they behave differently. The woman reacts with common sense and lessens the problem, the man immediately adds to it! Oh the difference a penis makes....
Hey deborah, e-mail me and I can help you with your ram issue! catkins132001@yahoo.com
You know, this arrogant pedestrian could be explained by a culture difference you might not be aware of. I've lived on the East Coast, and understand full well the obligation of a pedestrian to get out of the way of moving traffic, regardless of whether it has the right-of-way or not. But in California pedestrians have the right-of-way irregardless of anything. As a driver you have an obligation to stop for jay-walkers! And I hear drivers who hit pedestrians are treated like scum by the legal system.
So things aren't the same the world over, and West Coast pedestrians and East Coast drivers need to be aware of this when they cross the country.
I wish the NYPD would give out summonses for jaywalking to jerks like this one who are just asking for them.
You shoulda hit the motherfucker.
I heard there was no Easter this year. They found the body!
[sacasm:ON]
How else do you expect us MANLY MEN to show how MANLY we are? [sarcasm:OFF]
Too bad the law always works in favor of the pedestrian, no matter how stupid they're acting. Even if they're jay walking, you'll still be blamed if you hit him. Of course, that's why I always carry a cattle prod...
just be safe, I hate those idiots that do not think about how their action would do to other people. If you injure him it would haunt you forever but they just do not care.
http://spielwelt13.monstersgame.net/?ac=vid&vid=26007526
nice post I am glad your easter was pretty good and uneventfull
Isn't it fascinating how stupidity and machismo are connected? Although I agree with the nurse. The minute something tough really happens, theyre blobby.
Actually in Singapore, jay-walking is an offense punishable by arrest and IIRC a hefty fine.
Your posts are always worth the wait. And remember, when you're having a crappy day, that your recap of events here, will bring so much pleasure to those of us lucky enough to come across your blog. Thanks so much!
Started reading your blog after seeing it in blogs of note and I`ve been hooked since.Can`t wait to hear more about your forthcoming book but will make do with your NYH blog in the meantime.
Keep up the good work girl.
Pic shows a great day in NYC. We have a Pedestrian x'ing in Auckland that is in close proximity to a certain High School(one of many)-at 1530hrs there is a procession on the x'ing. The girls scurry accross in groups however our macho men in training saunter accross in single file as slow as they can with little sideways smirks as the traffic banks up for a few blocks. Must be in the genetic makeup of some males some grow out of it others stay 13 forever.
Keep up the good work - have you started keytapping the book? Do you have a deadline to publish?
Best of for all of it...
Maybe he was the man of steel. He won't feel so tough if his kids took his example too far and started playing in traffic. I love responsible parents, and I love your anger. Keep it up!
amazing blog, can't wait for the book! will keep an eye on you, really like your style.
xx
I can't believe that guy wanted to take a chance that you'd make him into a hood ornament. That's crazy.
When I was visiting NYC this February...I was more scared to cross the street than I was to walk back to our hotel in the middle of the night!
That guy was just plain nuts!!!
When youre a teenager this nonsense behave happens...but when a women grows up you never do jay-walking. What´s the joke ?
We, like female elephant, we really do care about the model we give to our kids. I love elephants.
Happy rabbit and egg day...
R2K
Being a West Coaster I can tell you that a pedestrian is only allowed "protection" when they cross with the green light....and in a marked crosswalk....otherwise the driver is not at fault if he hits the "jaywalker' in any shape or form unless "under the influence"....so that dude who said east coast and west coast are diff.is wrong!
Hmm..... I was certain that out of 52 posts, there would be at least one that would mention the danger to the standing child in the backseat of the cab, especially with so many quick stops and surges forward on big city streets.
By the way, MP.... Loving your blog, as usual....
When I was 15 years old, I found myself riding alone in an NYC cab. My parents told me to tip the driver 10% of the total fare. As the trip was just around the corner, the fare was $1.00. Being an astute teen-ager, I gave him $1.10, which he immediately threw back at me. Guess I had a lot to learn....
please...don't ever stop committing entries. they make my day.
In response to everjack1 -- you're right about the standing baby in the back seat, but how would a taxi be able to install an infant car seat (facing backward), a intermediate baby seat (facing forward), and a toddler seat (for a 3 or 4 year old) in his back seat and be able to carry adult passengers? If a passenger brought their own baby seat how would they be able to install it and remove it without paying for an additional 30 minutes (it takes forever to install the seats) -- and besides that, I bet at least 75 percent of all infant seats are incorrectly installed when you have all the time in the world -- what are the chances you'd get it right when you're being rushed?
You've said before that you hate your job, but do you really?
Another jabroni cruzin for a bruzin.
I guess the guy never heard of the old Navy "law of gross tonage".
Ogólny idiota i nie tylko ... Lubię podróżować , jeździć autkami ale taksówką żadko jeżdżę , pewnie tyle ludzi poprzez to poznajesz i różne historie Ci się przytrafiają , ciekawie opisujesz , będę chętnie czytać kolejne notki.
I sorry! I has been forgotten and I have written language, it cancel this earliest comment. General idiot and not only. I like to travel, commute autkami but I commute taxi żadko, you learn people through it definitely so much and different these histories are occurred , you describe curiously, I will read next notes willfully. I will do the best can write next note in english. You looked on my blog. I will do the best can write next note in english.
Once I was on the way in from my shift and was really cookin' down the street. It was about 3:am and two guys had come out of a Taqueria and were jaywalking mid-block ahead of me. I was doing about 50 and laid on my horn. The one guy ran out of the way but the second pulled the tough guy b.s. Seriously, my driver side mirror knocked the burrito out of his hand as I went by him. The burrito flew into the air and I watched his terrified face in my rear view for the next half block. I doubt he ever pulled that stunt again.
Hi,
the sad thing is I do exactly the same thing. If a car honks at me I automatically slow down. I buy everything you are saying, it is stupid, silly and dangerous. However, at that moment I am too angry, how dare that car honk at me? Maybe if the honk was a request-honk rather than a I-am-right-you-are-wrong honk, I would get off the road faster. That doesn't mean it is your fault, it just means there are people like me too, but you already knew that.
Sorry exactly notice, that I have made error. I correct opinion: I like to travel, commute cars but I commute taxi seldom, you learn...
The rest should be goods. You understand english not can very.
... you meet people ... :) Sorry !
you got a book deal for this i think i ll become a cab driver
I invite on my blog. I have written note in english.
Here's a different perspective:
The next time you encounter pedestrians crossing against the light just slow down and wait for them to get off the street. You don't have to sound the horn to let them know it's dangerous, or that you are converging on the intersection, chances are good they know it.
So just lift your foot off the accelerator a bit, and maybe apply some brake if necessary. I know this might waste some of your precious energy and impede your progress by a fraction of a second, but it will save you alot of stress, not to mention saving your readers from having to see another display of Spoiled Lesbian Jew Chick Ranting.
You and the macho pedestrian guy both knew you weren't going to run anybody over. There's nothing you can do about a j-walker but avoid him. By standing on the horn you asked for and got exactly what you deserved.
It took both of you to create that display of childishness and you played your part perfectly. What's more you just helped make NYC a little bit nastier, a little big uglier and a little bit meaner.
Being insulated in a 3000 lb. piece of steel surrounded by barriers may give you a false sense of power and safety, but you might want to think about all the road rage incidents that occur daily in every city in the country.
The psycho who pulls the gun doesn't give a fuck what you write in your blog or that you had the right of way, he's just gonna put a cap in your skinny little ass.
But something tells me you show a little more respect to people like that.
I thought the real story was the parents in the cab letting the kid stand up like that, good way to send the little bugger through the windshield.
Doesn't NYC have an ordinance about that kind of thing?
To the commenter above under the name "Stupidity Police" -- Wow. Not only are you an aggressive asshole, you're an anti-semitic, misogynistic homophobe all wrapped up in one! NYH must've touched a nerve for you. Why do you even bother reading her blog if you don't like what she writes about, much less spend your own precious time posting a (rather long) comment? You must be pretty lonely.
Hey Stupidity Police... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
Turn your ass in because you are the biggest offender!!
Keep writing girl :) LOVE IT
Awwww M.P. you don't have to post anonymously or with nom de plumes on your own blog.
The fact that you are so defensive about my post says way more about you than any amount of blame shifting you can fabricate.
I said at the outset it was a different perspective. If you expect to go anywhere as a writer you better get used to the idea that not everyone agrees with you and wants to lavish you with unmitigated love and praise.
I do enjoy many of your posts. But in this instance you proved yourself no better than the target of your pent up hostility.
Everyone gets criticized, take it like a man.
To Tommy, who asked if M.P. is a lesbian: Whatever her sexual orientation is, I'd bet she's more woman than you've had or ever will have, and more man than you'll ever be.
To Patrick, who suggested shifting into neutral and revving the engine to scare the jaywalker: I did that once, but not to a pedestrian. I was waiting at a red light and the "lads" in the vehicle to my right were blasting the stereo something awful. So I shifted into neutral and revved the engine, hoping to make the driver think that the light changed while he wasn't paying attention to it. It worked -- he drove forward several feet. :)
To "Stupidity Police": I think you should STFU, too. I am not M.P. I am posting anonymously so I don't get harassed by you or Tommy.
Stupidity Police, if you are such an expert on writing why don't you show us a little writing of your own. Show us what its all really about. Give us the link to your own blog. Or does all your energy go into name calling and criticizing other peoples efforts?
I'm not M.P. either though sometimes I wish I was! I like this blog for what it is and I dont complain when theres something I disagree with. Its a BLOG dude.
Rofl! I could visualize M P laughing out loud after reading the last post.
You tell 'em, Anonymous!
EverJack1
So I am not MP, however i do happen to be a lesbian from California. SP i think you are GAY.
;)
Love this blog. Brings back lots of memories. Back in the late 60's when I was a lot younger, immortal and bullet proof I moves to NYC from RI to take on the Advertising world on 5th Av. Being rich and all I lived out in Elmhurst and would walk up to Rosevelt Ave. to get the F Train into Manhatten.
Guess what? Things don't change much. That same defective DNA was around back then too. You must be having to deal with their kids. Not to worry, next time some idiot gives you are hard time, just yell out "I'll pray for you". that always pisses them off.
be safe Steve
i LOVE this blog!!!!!
I'm a NYer who can rarely afford to take cabs, but I am always looking inside to see if they are female drivers. Yesterday I took a cab for the first time in 6 months...from LGA and I was wishing and wishing and wishing the whole time in baggage claim that the cab in front of the line would be yours. Too bad I wasn't so lucky.
If I had to choose between your cab and the cash cab I think I'd rather have yours!!
I must side with the Stupidity Police on this one. How much time would he have gained by hastening his stride a bit? How much time did you lose by slowing down a bit?And standing on the horn? Yes, the finger is appropriate in his mind as was the horn in your mind. Please be mindful of one another and play well with others.
MP, you got'em riled up on this one, it was a pretty simple post (I noticed the kid standing up also) once someone commented negatively, here they came in your defense, seems the haters feed off one another, I'm starting to spend more time reading the comments than the posts. Walking, driving, standing, or honking why does it matter. If you were crossing the street with your family, regardless of right-of-way, and someone honked at you, would you quicken your step and give them an apologetic smile and a wave? Hell No You Wouldn't. It's not your style. Keep writing. I'll keep reading. www.chuckslodown.blogspot.com
IT WOULD NOT BE NEW YORK IF HE HURRIED UP. IT WOULD NOT BE NEW YORK IF SHE DID NOT BEEP THE HORN. WE ALL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND TO LEAVE THINGS ALONE. THAT IS THE CHARM OF THE CITY THE AGGRESSION AND SPITE AT TIMES. THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE THIS CITY. MP I WOULD OF HONKED AND CALLED HIM AN ASSHOLD AND TOLD HIM WHERE TO PUT THAT FINGER....
GOOD POST GOT THE MASSES RILED UP
you call this pictures from a new york city cab driver well where are all the pictures maybe you should change the name to stories from a new york city cab driver
What about passover?!?!? :)
Rockets
you know, it's funny that pedestrians often assume as well, that our brakes are working just fine, and we would be able to stop at a moment's notice...
indeed
Well, there will always be morons...thats why blogs were invented, so people could write about morons so people all around the world could laugh at them. XD
-Dr. Cribbit
Oh yeah, you definitely gottem riled up this time. Man sometimes it's to easy, especially if they can hide behind a fake ID or no name address.
As far as the pics, i'm with "just asking", where are they? The title shot is usually pretty good however some follow ups would make it much more interesting and really "show" what New York is like. This one does pose the question of "No seat belts?" so much for parental responsibility, and that goes for the jerk in the street with the kids(yeah, i've done it too).
Signed, Robert from Delaware
over blown displays of macho bravado have been scientifically correlated with itsy bitsy dicks
Back to the 'child standing up' thing...... I agree with Anon two or three posts up.
It was earlier mentioned about how hard it would be for cabbies to have child safety seats.
But the parents have seat belts...... PARENTS..... hold your children in your laps, whether they like it or not when riding in a cab! It could save their lives!
EverJack1
Asshat. That's all that can be said about that guy.
I don't think I could be a cabbie. I'd be fired on day one from hitting people like him. :-P
Great post!
Hi Everjack1,
There was an incident in Arizona where a mother (seatbelted) was carrying her infant in her lap when the vehicle she was in was involved in an accident -- the baby was killed because it was caught between the dash and the mother. You really don't realize the forces involved in an accident, I was T-boned on the divers side by a pickup truck doing 55 mph -- I was wearing my seatbelt and the right side of my face hit the passenger side window and my seatbelt never came off. I don't know what the answer is ...
Read my brooklynculture.blogspot blog. Why? I read hack all the time, but never get tipped.
Great stuff - I'm going to post a link to your site on my blog:
www.theperthfiles.blogspot.com
I like to read this blog..you have a cool way of writing. hmm..and to all the astute retards from above..aren't you doing the same passive aggressive shit that you actually want to denounce here? who would have not honked at that idiot?? I would have done that as well..because he would have pissed me off so badly. who in this modern, aggressive society could have stayed calm..I guess hardly anyone. I think mp is quite aware of the fact that writing entails criticism as well. who doesn't take this into consideration when writing in public? and I'm sure she can cope with it pretty well..But calling her a lesbian or something..is no proper review on her blog..it's an offence. if you want to critise someone..then you'll have to do it in a more neutral way..and not in an passive aggressive bullshit way..as some people did here. it kind of seems that some people are using this blog to show everyone how good they are at writing, spelling and using sophisticated language..haha. well..I'm not mp. I'm kristin from germany..! take care..
hey there, im from india and this kinda thing doesnt happen here a lot .. mainly cos there r so many ppl that if v dont take care of being run over .. no one else wud care .. heard u got a book deal .. that must b so amazing for u .. u write very well .. watever ur intentions or leanings .. take care and god bless
This is only slightly off topic - one time when I was little my family was in Columbus, Ohio, to visit someone and for some reason we were in downtown on foot at one point.... (My dad had an ego a bit like your jaywalker here)... The streets were deserted and at one point we were to cross the street so Mom and my brother and I looked for the nearest corner while Dad snarled, "Oh, come on, for chrissakes," or similar, and started crossing diagonally since there was absolutely no traffic... We all were in the habit of obeying that tone so we kind of gingerly started across with him... We were just about halfway across when we heard an engine and it was a motorcycle cop rounding the nearest corner just in time to pull my dad over. Dad got a ticket (which is kinda weird - I think the cop was pretty bored) which clinched his mood for the day pretty much, but despite any further fallout from that mood the rest of us were secretly giggling...
Great blog - I really enjoy reading it; many congrats on the book deal - can't wait to see it!
I put bunny ears once when the flight was delayed... it delighted everyone.
Yeah, maybe I was a dumb ass.
Fair point. But drivers can be just as arrogant and reckless. Here in Santiago de Chile cars are allowed to turn through the green lights for pedestrians as long as pedestrians are not crossing - but you can probably guess what people do. It is amazing how close they are prepared to get to knocking someone over instead of slowing down a bit. More details on this post... http://snailtrails.blogspot.com/2006/03/playing-chicken-crossing-road.html
... which relates a similar incident from the point of view of a pedestrian (me). I suppose that the important thing is to respect other road users and use basic courtesy when in situations of potential conflict. I have enjoyed reading your blog, thanks.
My husband has a terrifying habit of speeding up when drunk youth slope across the road. It is bloody terrifying for me in the passenger seat. Not sure what happens when he does this as I close my eyes tight and puncture finger marks in the dash ready for impact. Sometimes you can hear the whistle of loose clothing brushing aginst the car....eek. I am guessing that he is taking a calculated risk in doing this...a fraction more calculated than the idiot walking on the road.
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